DigitalRob

LW is a very sweet, very smart, energetic, lovable little boy. That said, he is also a big, fat weirdo. *What? Did she just call her kid a weirdo? Bad mom alert!*

Whatevs, he is, at least as far as food is concerned.  I had a conversation with some friends last night and realized that when it comes to eating habits, my child is a total whackadoodle. He, like most kids his age, gets stuck in food ruts. Right now he would be happy eating noodles and nothing but noodles all the live long day. As long as the noodles are plain, well maybe a little butter. Or ricotta cheese. Yes, ricotta. But he doesn’t eat most of the foods that are standard five year old fair. 

For instance, the kid will not touch a chocolate chip cookie. Hates the chips with a passion.  DigitalRob made chocolate chip pancakes last weekend and the kid ate AROUND the chocolate chips. Yep. He wouldn’t eat a marshmallow if it was the last food on the planet. I love marshmallows and could very easily live on their gooey goodness, but no…. We very rarely go to Burger King or McDonalds, but before you put on my “she’s such a good, health conscious mother” tiara, stop.  We don’t go because LW won’t eat chicken nuggets or hamburgers.  He wouldn’t touch a french fry with a 10 foot pole. If you tell him he has to, you may get this face

*BLINK*

*BLINK*

You read that right. Can you breathe again yet? He won’t eat kid friendly food? Whatthehelliswrongwiththiskid?Wheredidhecomefrom? I love fast food. A lot. Far more than is healthy for a person, but I do, so the fact that the child will not eat anything even if it’s packaged in a cute box and comes with a piece of crap plastic toy vexes me to no end.

What does he eat, you ask? Fruit. He will eat almost any fruit you put in front of him with the exception of honeydew (smart move if you ask me, I hate that green melon.) As mentioned before he loves noodles of all shapes and sizes and he will eat a few veggies.  Not the normal kid veggies. Nope, no corn, peas or carrots for this boy! Do you happen to have lima beans? Bring ‘em on! The kid will shovel them in until he’s ready to pop. Green beans? Sure, if you don’t expect him to eat the whole bean. He will peel them apart, eat the seeds and move on.

When we go out to dinner, his two favorite things to spot on menus are calamari and edamame. Yes, the child who can’t stomach a chicken McNugget eats squid. If we are out and all else fails, the giant soft pretzel will save us every time.

*SIGH* Maybe one day I will be able to convince him that hamburgers aren’t evil….just so I can sink my teeth into a Big Mac. Until then, bring on the calamari!